Paranoid
Fuck I'm paranoid today, no reason to be I just am. Not sure if it's side-effects or lack of eating but I've not been a heavy eater anyway.
Weird thing is I have a feeling of hopelessness that won't go away - it's not about anything in particular (which is odd) just that what I'm doing is not going to account or add up to anything.
Ghost town here today
Where the hell did everyone go? It's like the town has been evacuated and everyone has been told but me. Freak stuff. I just went for a walk there and saw like three people but no traffic (which is strange as every other day there's cars whizzing by).
It's a bit like 'the town that time forgot' or something.
Maybe it's that dissociative feeling again but god knows.
Weird
God I feel so weird, I don't know what it is, it's like I'm not really here...but I am here, all at the same time. A sort of dissociative feeling.
Dreamy Dreamy Dream
So here goes with another one of these weird dreams:
I was in the local supermarket and kept hearing people talk about the 'bad food' and how everything was going off in the place but it was so crowded I couldn't even push my way to the front of the store to see wt the hell was going on. Apparently someone had said that the food was bad and rotting away and a lady was explaining that there was no need to worry and everything was going to be ok.
I think that part was to do with my eating habits as I don't really eat that well, or sometimes not at all during a day.
Next part took place in the college I used to go and I was rushing from room to room trying to find a tutor before the class started - didn't really make any sense as I ended up in the same room but oh well.
That's about it really, I didn't think I'd have any more but they've started again.
Day easing slightly
I was wanting Stone Sour to make this a single but then I never bothered checking as it's an incredible song but they did and here it is:
Also found the recording of the song:
Bad News
This really had to fuck up my day didn't it? Turns out a dog we've been looking after is geting re-homed today and I only just found out, so about 2 minutes to say goodbye to him (which was very painful to say the least) and I'm just lost for words. My head aches, my body aches FUCK.
I'm not afraid to say I loved that dog Tyson, he was a Staffordshire Bull Terrier but still as tame as a puppy and quite young too. All the times we had in Andy's house playing and going on walks, talking pics of him, watching him growl at the weirdest of stuff just makes it that much harder. If I'm up to I'll put a pic up but mentally I'm trying to push everything to the back of my mind as I want to forgot those minutes this morning.
No Dream!
Wahey no weird dream(s) last night at all - probably cause I took the Mitraz way after 1am and not when I got into bed about 10pm or so.
Anyway, on with the day.
Piranha and Dream
Went and seen Piranha 3-D, I'd give it 5/10 - enough said.
Another dream last night, this one consisted of my fiancee, her sister, and me taking a bus that turned into a cinema but it was all massive and my head could barely reach the counter - no-one wanted to see this 'bee movie' and all I wanted was this £1 burger called 'The Sonic Burger'. This went one for a while as the bus drove off and we were trapped in this fuck off cinema. Weird. Next part was just Claire's younger sister coming into my room at night looking for her phone usb cable, then she left and turned out the night. All so confusing.
Piranha 3-D Tonight
Heading to see this tonight, hope it's good but mixed reviews suggest the otherwise. Just some nice gory action would be good.
Got my usual caffeine hit on tow and a McDonalds soon should push all this shit to the back of my mind and anxiety a bit lower.
Will be back to report on the film.
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